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On 17/01/2011 2:15 PM, Toxis@ze_yval_place wrote:
> Man:   Doctor, I've broken my leg.
>
> Doctor:   I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk again.
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Policeman:   Knock, knock.
>
> Woman:   Who's there?
>
> Policeman:   The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband
> has been killed.
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a
> jail cell.
>
> Eventually they all starved to death.
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Why did the chicken cross the road?
>
> To escape the Nazis.
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> A man walks into a pub.
>
> He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
>
> She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly
> low self-esteem.
>
>
>
> Why do undertakers wear ties?
>
> Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their
> appearance has a degree of gravitas.
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
>
> One.
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Why do women fake orgasms?
>
> Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Two men are sitting in a pub.
>
> One man turns to the other and says: "Last night I saw lots of strange men
> coming in and out of your wife's house."
>
> The other man replies: "Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her
> drug habit."
>
> A priest and a rabbi are sitting next to each other on a plane.
>
> However, it is a short flight and they do not talk to each other.
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> What do you call a man with a spade in his head?
>
> You call him an ambulance. He may have fractured his skull.
>
>