verbally gifted :)

"shimtas kinieciu" <tehlulz@gramar.nazi> wrote in message 
news:iv6loa$jtn$1@trimpas.omnitel.net...
>a kaip korektishkai bus mnoga bukaff? ;)
>
> "pranZo"  wrote in message news:iv6l60$j6v$1@trimpas.omnitel.net...
>
> A Criminal - unsavory character
> A Crook - morally (ethically) challenged
> Abortion - Near-Life Experience
> Alcoholic - Anti-Sobriety Activist
> Alive - temporarily metabolically abled.
> An Immigrant - a newcomer
> Assassination - involuntary term limitation
> Bald - comb-free
> Bald - folically independent
> Bald - follicularly challenged.
> Battle Fatigued - shellshocked
> Blind - optically darker
> Blind - photonically non-receptive
> Blind - visually challenged
> Body Odor - nondiscretionary fragrance.
> Broken Down Automobile - mechanically challenged
> Broken Home - Dysfunctional Family
> Bum - Displaced Homeowner
> Bum - Homeless Person
> Bum - Involuntarily Domiciled
> Cannibalism - Intra-Species Dining
> Censorship - Selective Speech
> Cheating - Academic Dishonesty
> China - Porcelain
> Chronically Late - Temporarily Challenged
> Clumsy - uniquely coordinated
> Commercial Fisherman - Flipper Whipper
> Computer Illiterate - Technologically Challenged
> Corpse - Permanently Static Post-Human Mass
> Corpse / Stiff - Metabolically Challenged
> Corpse / Stiff - Terminally Inconvenienced
> Cowardly - Challenge Challenged
> Cowboys - bovine control officers
> Crackpot - certified astrological consultant, certified crystal therapist,
> or certified past-life regression hypnotist
> Crime Rate - street activity index
> Dead - Actuarially Mature
> Dead - biologically challenged
> Dead - environmentally correct human
> Dead - living impaired
> Dead - metabolically challenged
> Dead - persons living with entropy
> Deaf - Visually Oriented
> Delicatessen - Corpse Farm
> Dirty Old Man - sexually focused chronologically gifted individual
> Dish Washer - utensil sanitizer
> Dishonest - Ethically disoriented.
> Dorm - Residence Hall
> Drooling Drunk Idiot - person on floor
> Drowning - aquatically challenged
> Drug Addict - Chemically Challenged
> Drunk - spacially perplexed
> Drunk / Junkie - in recovery
> Earthquake - geological correction
> Fail - achieve a deficiency.
> Fat - Differently Weighted
> Fat - gravitationally challenged
> Fat - horizontally challenged.
> Fat - horizontally gifted
> Fat - People of Mass
> Fat - person of substance
> Fictional / Mythological - ontologically challenged
> Freshman - first-year student
> Frog - amphibian American
> Full of Crap - fecally plenary
> Gang - Youth Group
> Garbage Man - sanitation engineer
> Gas Station Attendent - petroleum transfer technician
> Geek, Nerd, whatever... - socially challenged
> Ghetto / Barrio - Ethnically Homogenous Area
> Hamburger - Seared Mutilated Animal Flesh
> Handicapped - Differently Abled, Handi-Capable
> Having PMS - cyclically challenged
> Hearing Person - temporarily aurally abled
> Homeless - outdoor urban dwellers
> Homeless - residentially flexible
> Homelessness - Mortgage-Free Living
> Housebroken - Family Disfunction
> Housewife - domestic engineer
> Hunter - Animal Assassin
> Hunter - Bambi Butcher
> Hunter - Meat Mercenary
> Ignorant - factually unencumbered
> Ignorant - knowledge-based nonpossessor.
> Incompetent - Differently Qualified
> Incompetent - Specially Skilled
> Incompetent - Uniquely Proficient
> Insane People - Mental Explorers
> Insane People - Selectively Perceptive
> Insult - Emotional Rape
> Janitor - sanitation engineer
> Klutz - kinesthetically challenged
> Large Nose - nasally gifted
> Lazy - motivationally dispossessed
> Lazy - motivationally deficient.
> Learning Disability - Self-Paced Cognitive Ability
> Library - Educational Resource Center
> Logger - Wood Weasel
> Logger - Paper Pirate
> Logger -Treeslayer
> Loser - Second Place
> Loser - uniquely fortuned individual on an alternative career path
> Man-hole - maintenance hole
> Mankind - humankind
> MANkind, HuMAN, PerSON - Earth Children
> Mercy Killing - Euthanasia
> Mercy Killing - Putting Down/To Sleep/Out of Misery
> Messy - differently organized
> Meter Maid - Parking enforcer
> Midget / Dwarf - Little People
> Midget / Dwarf - Vertically Challenged
> Mute/Dumb - verbally challenged
> Not with somebody at the moment - romantically challenged -
> Off - energy-efficient
> Old - chronologically gifted
> Old Person / Elderly - Gerontologically Advanced
> Old Person / Elderly - Senior Citizens
> Panhandler - Unaffiliated applicant for private-sector funding.
> Paper Bag - processed tree carcass
> Perverted - Sexually dysfunctional.
> Pimp-mobile / Low-rider - Culturally Responsive Transportation Option
> Plagiarism - Previously Owned Prose
> Po' - financially inept
> Policeman, Policewoman - law inforcement officer
> Poor - economically marginalized
> Poor - Economically Unprepared
> Poor - monetarily challenged
> Postman - letter carrier
> Pregnant - parasitically oppressed.
> Prisoner - client of the correctional system
> Prostitute - sex care provider
> Psychobabble - constructivist feminist psychotherapy
> Psychopath - socially misaligned
> Racist - genetically discriminating
> Really Big Nosed - nasally disadvantaged
> Redneck - person of region
> Redneck - rustically inclined
> Refugees - asylum seekers
> Road Kill - Vehicularly Compressed Maladapted Life Form
> Rudeness - Tact Avoidance
> Runny Nose - nasally gifted
> Senile Bag o' Bones - Alzheimer's Victim
> Serial-Killer - Person with difficult-to-meet needs.
> Shoplifter - Cost-of-Living Adjustment Specialist
> Short - vertically challenged
> Sighted Person - temporarily visually abled
> Slum - Economic Oppression Zone
> Slut - suffering from a sex addiction (female)
> Someone who has no other reason to park in a handicapped zone - morally
> handicapped
> Spendthrift - negative saver.
> Stained - creatively re-dyed
> Steward, Stewardess - flight attendant
> Stoned - Chemically inconvenienced.
> Stud - suffering from a sex addiction (male)
> Stupid - differently-brained
> Stupid - intellectually impaired
> The Elderly - Senior citizens
> Thin - horizontally challenged
> Thirsty - osmotically challenged
> Tone Deaf - musically delayed
> Too old/young - other aged
> Too Tall - people of height
> Tree-Hugger - environmental activist
> Trees - Oxygen Exchange Units
> Ugly - aesthetically challenged
> Ugly - Cosmetically different.
> Ugly - facially challenged
> Unemployed - Involuntarily leisured.
> Used Books - Recycled Books
> Vagrant - Nonspecifically destinationed individual.
> Vegetable - noble unconscious hero
> Vice President - Post-Coronary Leader of the Free World
> Vocal Minority - target equity group
> Vomiting - Unplanned Reexamination of Recent Food Choices
> Waiter, Waitress - food server
> War-Monger - Peacekeeper, patriot
> Welfare Bum - economically disadvantaged
> Whaler - Blubber Lover
> White - melanin-impoverished
> White American - racially challenged
> White Boy - rhythmically challenged
> White Trash - caucasian culturally-disadvantaged
> Wife - unpaid sex slave
> Worst - least best.
> Wrong - differently logical.
>
> Politically Correct Terms For Females:
> Her breasts will never sag, they will lose their vertical hold.
> She does not get drunk, she is accidentally over served or she becomes
> verbally dyslexic.
> She does not get PMS, she becomes hormonally homicidal.
> She does not hate sports on TV, she is athletically biased.
> She does not have a great butt, she is gluteus to the maximus.
> She does not have a hard body, she is anatomically inflexible.
> She does not have a killer body, she is terminally attractive.
> She does not have big hair, she is overly aerosoled.
> She does not have big hooters, her cups runneth over.
> She does not have great cleavage or a great rack, her breasts are 
> centrally
> located.
> She does not have sexy lips, she is collagen dependent.
> She does not shave her legs, she experiences temporary stubble reduction.
> She does not shop too much, she is overly susceptible to marketing ploys.
> She does not snore, she is nasally repetitive.
> She does not sun bathe, she experiences solar enhancement.
> She does not wear too much makeup, she is cosmetically oversaturated.
> She does not work out too much, she is an abdominal overachiever.
> She does not: Get Drunk, She becomes Verbally Dyslexic
> She is not a bad cook, she is microwave compatible.
> She is not a bad driver, she is automotively challenged.
> She is not A Gossip, She is a Verbal Terminator
> She is not a gossip, she is a verbal terminator.
> She is not a Perfect 10, she is numerically superior.
> She is not cold or frigid, she is thermally incompatible.
> She is not easy, she is horizontally accessible.
> She is not hooked on soap operas, she is melodramatically fixated.
> She is not too skinny, she is skeletally prominent.
> She will never gain weight, she will become a metabolic underachiever.
> You do not ask her to dance, you request a precoital rhythmic experience.
>
> Politically Correct Terms For Males:
> He does not have a beer gut; he develops a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.
> He does not: Hog the blankets He is: Thermally unappreciative
> He is not: Unsophisticated He is: Socially malformed
> He does not: Eat like a pig He suffers from: Reverse bulimia
> He is not: A sex machine He is: Romantically automated
> He is not a: Male chauvinist pig He has: Swine empathy
> He is not: Quiet He is a: Conversational minimalist
> You do not: Undress him with your eyes You have a: Introspective
> pornographic moment
> He is not: Afraid of commitment He is: Monogamously challenged
> He does not have a: Fabulous rear end He has achieved: Buttocks perfection
> He is not: Stupid He suffers from: Minimal cranial development
> He does not: Get lost all the time He discovers: Alternative destinations
> He is not: Balding He is in: Follicle regression
> You do not: Buy him a drink You initiate an: Alcohol-For-Conversation
> exchange
> He does not: Fart and belch He is: Gastronomically expressive
> His jeans are not: Too tight He is: Anatomically under circulated
> He is not a: Redneck He is a: Genetically-related American
> You do not: Kiss him You become: Facially conjoined
> He is not a: Cradle robber He prefers: Generationally differential
> relationships
> He does not get: Falling down drunk He becomes: Accidentally horizontal
> He does not: Act like a total jerk He develops a: Case of rectal-cranial
> inversion
> He is not: Short He is: Anatomically compact
> He does not have a: Rich daddy He is a: Recipient of Parental Asset 
> Infusion
> He does not: Constantly talk about cars He has a: Vehicular addiction
> He does not have a: Hot body He is: Physically combustible
>
> Politically Correct Phrases For Students:
> No one fails a class any more, he's merely "passing impaired."
> You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."
> Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."
> These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."
> Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."
> Kids don't get grounded any more. They merely "hit social speed bumps."
> Your homework isn't missing, it's just having an "out-of-notebook
> experience."
> You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."
> You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."
> You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious 
> follicle
> syndrome."
> You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic
> footwear."
> No one's tall anymore. He's "vertically enhanced."
> You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."
> You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."
> You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the 
> discreet
> exchange of penned meditations."
> It's not called gossip any more. It's "the speedy transmission of
> near-factual information."
> The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively 
> challenged."
>
> Politically Correct Terms For Cat Owners:
> My cat does not barf hairballs he is a floor/rug redecorator
> My cat does not break things she helps gravity do its job
> My cat does not fear dogs they are merely sprint practice tools
> My cat does not gobble she eats with alacrity
> My cat does not scratch he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator
> My cat does not yowl he is singing off-key
> My cat is not a "shedding machine" she is a hair relocation stylist
> My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile" she enjoys the proximity of food
> My cat is not a bed hog he is a mattress appreciator
> My cat is not a chatterbox she is advising me on what to do next
> My cat is not a dope addict she is catnip appreciative
> My cat is not a lap fungus he is bed selective
> My cat is not a pest she is attention deprived
> My cat is not a ruthless hunter she is a wildlife control expert
> My cat is not evil she is badness enhanced
> My cat is not fat he is mass enhanced
> My cat is not hydrophobic she has an inability to appreciate moisture
> My cat is not lazy he is motivationally challenged
> My cat is not underfoot she is leading me to my next destination (the food
> dish!)
>
> 'Twas The (Politically Correct)
> Night Before Christmas:
> 'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
> How to live in a world that's politically correct?
> His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
> "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
> And labor conditions at the north pole
> Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
>
> Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
> Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
> And equal employment had made it quite clear
> That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
>
> So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
> Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
>
> The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
> The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
> And people had started to call for the cops
> When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
>
> Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
> His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
>
> And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
> Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
> And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
> Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
>
> So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
> Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
> Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
> Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
>
> And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
> That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
> Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
> Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
>
> Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
> Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
> Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
> Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
>
> Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
> Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
>
> No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
> Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
> And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
> Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
>
> For they raised the hackles of those psychological
> Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
>
> No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
> Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
> Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
> And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
>
> So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
> He just could not figure out what to do next.
>
> He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
> you've got to be careful with that word today.
> His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
> Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
>
> Something special was needed, a gift that he might
> Give to all without angering the left or the right.
> A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
> Each group of people, every religion;
>
> Every ethnicity, every hue,
> Everyone, everywhere...even you.
> So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
> "May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
>
> Notice: This poem is copyright 1992 by Harvey Ehrlich. It is free to
> distribute, without changes, as long as this notice remains intact. All
> follow-ups, requests, comments, questions, distribution rights, etc should
> be made to mduhan@husc.harvard.edu . Happy Holidays!
>
> Politically Correct Seasons Greetings:
> Christmas Thoughts
>
> Please accept with no obligation,
> implied or implicit our best wishes for
> an environmentally conscious,
> socially responsible, low stress,
> non-addictive, gender neutral,
> celebration of the winter solstice
> holiday, practiced within the most
> enjoyable traditions of the religious
> persuasion of your choice, or secular
> practices of your choice, with respect
> for the religious/secular persuasions
> and/or traditions of others, or their
> choice not to practice religious or
> secular traditions at all ...
>
> and a fiscally successful,
> personally fulfilling, and medically
> uncomplicated recognition of the onset
> of the generally accepted calendar
> year _______, but not without due respect
> for the calendars of choice of other
> cultures whose contributions to
> society have helped make America great,
> (not to imply that America is necessarily
> greater than any other country or is
> the only "AMERICA" in the western
> hemisphere), and without regard to the
> race, creed, color, age, physical ability,
> religious faith, choice of computer platform,
> or sexual preference of the wishee.
>
> - DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTABILITY -
>
> (By accepting this greeting,
> you are accepting these terms.
> This greeting is subject to
> clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
> transferable with no alteration to the
> original greeting. It implies no
> promise by the wisher to actually
> implement any of the wishes for
> her/himself or others, and is
> void where prohibited by law, and is
> revocable at the sole discretion of
> the wisher. This wish is warranted
> to perform as expected within the
> usual application of good tidings
> for a period of one year, or until the
> issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting,
> whichever comes first, and warranty is
> limited to replacement of this wish
> or issuance of a new wish at the
> sole discretion of the wisher.)
>
>