The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the 
activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.Grandma couldn't 
speak very well, but she would write notes when she needed to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the 
right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and 
stuffed pillows on her right. A short time later, she started leaning off 
to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her 
left. Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again 
grabbed her, and then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.A 
nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, "Hi, Grandma, you're 
looking good! How are they treating you?"

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the 
nephew...

"The bastards won't let me fart."