If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong... ------------ I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. ------------ Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. ------------ Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ------------ If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it? ------------ Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? ------------- Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. ------------- If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining. ------------- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. ------------- We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. ------------- I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila. -------------- The difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is in the taste. -------------- Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were. -------------- I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch. -------------- Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. -------------- -- ___________ ©Toxis