Skaitinejau tai parinkau kurie juokingesni pasirode...

Today, I was calling my friend to see if she wanted to hang out. I called her home phone and got to voicemail which said "This is the Slaughter house, please leave a message." Her last name is Slaughter. I couldn't stop laughing, so now she has a voicemail of me laughing hysterically. MLIA.

Today, while at McDonald's, I was next in line. I couldn't decide on what I wanted. So when I got called up, I nonchalantly ordered a Krabby Patty. Without a moment of hesitation, the cute cashier turn around and yelled back to the fry cook, "DAN, TELL SPONGEBOB TO COME BACK FROM HIS BREAK, WE'VE GOT COSTUMERS WAITING." He gave me his number. MLIA.

Today, I was walking in the hallway while I should've been in class when my principle walked past me. I quickly did a somersault, hid behind a wall, and noticed he had disappeared. When I turned around, he was standing behind me and said "you're not the only ninja here." and walked away. MLIA

Today, I was getting Ice cream at the local Ice cream parlor when my phone went off, I have it set to the power ranger theme song as a joke between my sister and I. I answered "Whats the problem Red Ranger?" and heard someone gasp behind me, I turned to see a young boy staring at me wide eyed, I winked at him and told him that he had to keep my identity a secret, he nodded vigorously and ran off screaming "Mom, I met a Power Ranger!!!". MLIA.

Today, my sister got a letter from a college she had applied to. The envelope was purple and there was confetti inside. They must really want her to go there. MLIA

Today, I had to cut my lawn, so I put my Ipod on and turned the music all the way up so I wouldn't have to hear the lawn mower. 30 minutes after pushing the lawn mower around I realized that I had never turned it on. MLIA

Today, I woke up abruptly in the night. Why? An Owl smashed into my window. I'm waiting Hogwarts. I'm waiting. MLIA

Today I noticed a sign hanging in my school with little slips of paper hanging from the bottom. Expecting someone had lost something and was giving out their number incase it was found, I moved in to read it. The real message? "Free little slips of paper". I took one. MLIA

My dad always told me not to get a tattoo. His reason: When you're a criminal and on the run, you don't want something permanently identifiable on your body. Thanks, dad, for believing in my criminal ambitions.MLIA

Today, I ran into my living room where my dad was and screamed, "Dad, Devon is going into labor!" as a random joke. He jumped up, grabbed his car keys, and has been gone for 45 minutes. I don't even know anyone named Devon. MLIA

Today, I read an MLIA about someone in pre-calc who said, "Holy shift! Look at the asymptote on that mother function!" Last year, my trig class's favorite phrase was, "Son of a binomial, I just got foci'd in the asymptote!" I'm glad there are other advanced math students that also have such advanced maturity levels. MLIA

The other day, I was marking a test for my grade 8 science class. The question was about the pressure/surface area relationship and said "why is it possible to float on your back on water, but not to walk on water." One of my students answered "Because you're not Jesus". MLIA.

Today, my work lost power for an hour. After the a half hour of boredom I decided to have some fun, and I ran around the cubicals with a nerf gun shooting people. I turned a corner and got shot by my boss with his nerf gun. We then teamed up and had a nerf gun fight on 3 floors. I got a call from my boss a few minutes after I left work saying I got a raise. MLIA

Today, I was driving my Harry Potter obsessed 7 year old niece to the park to play with her. We were at a stoplight and it was taking a long time. Being impatient she yelled, "Sammie! Make the stoplight turn green!" I told her to say please, once she did I told her that I would see what I could do. Once I saw the light on the other side of the intersection turn red, I yelled 'LUMOS GREEN!' Needless to say, our stoplight turned green and my niece rode the rest of the drive with her mouth wide open in amazement. MLIA

Today, I wasn't so doing hot on my German 1 exam. When it came to the part of the test in which it shows a clock and asks us for the time in German, I wrote "Es ist Hammerzeit" and drew a picture of M.C. Hammer. I was awarded extra credit. MLIA