> My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
> 
> She asked, 'What's on TV?'
> 
> I said, 'Dust.'
> 
> And that's when the fight started....
> 
> .............................................
> 
> 
> My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in
> bed.
> 
> I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
> 
> "No," she answered.
> 
> I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
> 
> She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
> 
> So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
> 
> And that's when the fight started....
> 
> .............................................
> 
> 
> I asked my wife,! "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
> 
> It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
> 
> "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
> 
> So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
> 
> And that's when the fight started....
> 
> .............................................. 
> 
> 
> I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Molson Canadian for $24.95.
> 
> Instead, she bought a jar of face cream for $17.95.
> 
> I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the face
> cream..
> 
> And that's when the fight started
> 
> ................................................
> 
> A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
> 
> She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel
> horrible;! I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
> compl iment.'
> 
> The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
> 
> And that's when the fight started....
> 
> ..............................................
> 
> 
> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
> first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't
> you worried about the mad cow?"
> 
> Nah, she can order for herself."
> 
> And that's when the fight started....
> 
> .............................................
> 
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
> kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
> nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
> 
> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.
> 
> I understand she took to drinking right after we split ! up those many
> years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
> 
> 'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
> celebrating that long?'
> 
> And that's when the fight started....
> 
> .......................................................................
> 
> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
> expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
> 
> And that's when the fight started....
> 
> .......................................................................
> 
> 
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
> 
> She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
> seconds. I bought her a bathroom scale.
> 
> And that's when the fight started....
> 
>! ........................................................................
> .
> 
> 
> One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a
> Christmas gift.
> 
> The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
> 
> When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift
> I bought you last year!"
> 
> And that's how the fight started