pirmas nerealus! :D +++++

"Toxis@ze_yvil_place" <tox@work.ble> wrote in message 
news:h49cak$rp9$1@trimpas.omnitel.net...
> nucancelinau berods apatini, kreivai nupeistinau, pakartoju:)
> Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some 
> cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he 
> noticed Bob's wife, Sandra, wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! 
> Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the 
> table and emerged red-faced.
>
> Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob's wife 
> followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you like under there?" 
> Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did. She 
> said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500.'
>
> After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of 
> this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.
> Sandra told him that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and 
> Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.
>
> When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob's house at 2 p.m. sharp 
> and after paying Sandra the agreed sum of $500 - they went to the bedroom 
> and closed their transaction, as agreed. Jim quickly dressed and left.
>
> As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p.m. and upon arriving, asked his 
> wife: "Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?"
>
> With a lump in her throat Sandra answered "Why yes, he did stop by for a 
> few minutes this afternoon." Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her 
> husband curtly asked, "And did he give you $500?"
>
> Sandra, using her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did 
> give me $500."
>
> Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, "He 
> came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised 
> he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back."
>
> Now THAT, my friends, is quite a poker player!
>
> --------------------------
>
> The handsome prince announced that a grand ball would be held to which 
> everyone was invited.
>
> Cinderella was excited but her wicked stepmother and the ugly step sisters 
> would not let her go. She was sitting disconsolately amid the ashes when 
> her fairy godmother appeared before her.
>
> "Why are you so sad, Cinderella?"
>
> "Because my stepmother and stepsisters won't let me go to the ball."
>
> "You shall go to the ball, Cinderella. I will provide you with the most 
> beautiful dress and glass slippers, a coach and horses and footmen to 
> attend you."
>
> "Oh, thank you, fairy godmother!" Cinderella happily gushed.
>
> "There is just one condition, Cinderella, and you must listen to it 
> carefully," warned the fairy godmother. "You must be home by midnight 
> because if you are not, on the stroke of midnight your fanny will turn 
> into a melon".
>
> Cinderella accepted this condition and in the twinkling of an eye the 
> promised goodies were before her and she set off for the ball. The ball 
> was as wonderful as she expected. She danced with the handsome prince who 
> only had eyes for her and, when the interval came she went into supper on 
> the arm of the prince and sat opposite him.
>
> The first course was a slice of melon and the sight of this recalled to 
> Cinderella's mind the condition that her fairy godmother had imposed. 
> Cinderella felt sad that she had to go home so early and picked up her 
> knife and fork to start on her slice of melon.
>
> The prince, on the other hand, ignored his knife and fork. He seized the 
> slice of melon in both hands and buried his face in it. He took the flesh 
> into his mouth and slurped over it as he sucked and swallowed the 
> succulent fruit. He did not stop until he had got every drop of goodness 
> from it. He took the rind away from his face and juices were running down 
> his chin.
>
> He said to Cinderella, as he laid the ring aside, "What time do you have 
> to be home?"
>
>
> "About half past two," she replied.
>
> -----------------------
>
> Michael Jackson died of food poisoning after eating 10 year old nuts....
>
> ------------------------
>
> A young woman was pulled over for speeding.
> As a NZ Policeman walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket
> book, she said, 'I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the 
> Policeman's
> Ball.'
> He replied, 'NewZealand Policemen don't have balls.'
> There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd
> just said.
> He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left.
>
> She was laughing too hard to start her car.
>
>