neblogai visai, yra geruliu, patiko su matematikais :)

nepagavau su vienuolem

-- 
Honda Civic '00 EK3 1.5 Vtec-E
 
"Toxis@ze_yvil_place" <tox@work.ble> wrote in message news:hfoenv$3mp$1@trimpas.omnitel.net...
> Knock, knock.
> 
> Who’s there?
> 
> Fuck.
> 
> Fuck who?
> 
> No, “fuck whom?”
> 
> ----------------
> 
> Two mathematicians are in a local diner, arguing. The first mathematician is complaining that the average citizen knows *nothing* about math, people are idiots who don’t even know how to balance their checkbooks these days, and the world is generally going to hell in a handbasket. The second mathematician is objecting, telling his friend that the situation isn’t that bad, and warning him not to underestimate the average citizen’s mathematical knowledge. 
> 
> After much argument, the first mathematician staggers off to the restroom. The second mathematician calls the tired-looking waitress over.
> 
> “Yeah, hun?”
> 
> He hands her $20. “I’d like to play a little joke on my friend when he gets back. I’m going to ask you a question. When you answer, I want you to answer, ‘X squared.’ Can you do that for me?”
> 
> “Sure, hun, whatever.” 
> 
> After a few minutes, the first mathematician returns and sits down. The second mathematician says, “Look, I’ll *show* you that the average citizen knows more about math than you think they do.” He waves the waitress over.
> 
> “Yeah, hun, what can do for ya?”
> 
> “I just have a simple question for you, ma’am. Can you tell me what the answer to the integral of 2x dx is?”
> 
> The waitress scrunches up her face. “Sure, hun, thats… X squared.” 
> 
> The second mathematician leans back in his chair, looks at his friend, and smiles smugly. 
> 
> Then the waitress calls over her shoulder, “Plus a constant.”
> 
> ----------------------
> 
> How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
> Two, one to hold the giraffe and another to fill the wheel barrow with brightly colour machine tools.
> 
> What is the similarity between a monkey and a bicycle?
> The both have wheels expect for the monkey.
> 
> --------------------
> 
> Ronald Reagan, Michael Gorbatsjov and Margaret Thatcher appear before God.
> 
> God to Reagan: “Son, what have you done to deserve a place in Heaven?”
> Reagan: “I brought the Evil Empire to its knees, freed millions of people from communism and ended the Cold War.”
> God: “Very good my son, come sit by my right side.”
> God to Gorbatsjov: “And you son, what have you done to deserve a place in Heaven?”
> Gorbatsjov: “I introduced perestroijka and glasnost, and guided the Soviet Union away from communism while avoiding armed revolution and bloodshed.”
> God: “Very good my son, come sit by my left side.”
> 
> Next, God turns to Thatcher and says: “And you sister, what have you done?”
> Thatcher replies (high-pitched voice, English accent): “In the first place, I am not your sister, and in the second, get out of my chair!”
> 
> ------------------
> 
> Q: How do you get a history major off your porch?
> 
> A: Pay for the pizza.
> 
> ------------------
> 
> Two nuns are riding bicycles down an unfamiliar road.
> 
> One nun says, “I’ve never come this way before.”
> 
> The second nun says, “It must be the cobblestones.”
> 
> ------------------
> 
> -“How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”
> 
> -“I don’t know, how many?”
> 
> -“Let’s ride bikes!”
> 
> 
> -- 
> ___________
> ©Toxis